It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
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