Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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