next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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