Someone shit on the floor
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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