No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
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people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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