We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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