ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
People in love make me want to vomit
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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