woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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