There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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