im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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