but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize