I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
My hand turned me down
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize