At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
We need to get me chipped asap
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
So. Much. Porn.
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