This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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