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Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
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