I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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