i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize