Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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