so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize