It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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