Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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