Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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