Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
If that was your dad, he is hot
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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