one word: firstdatebathroomanal
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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