weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize