I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize