There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize