Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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