you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
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you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
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Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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