Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
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I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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