So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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