so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
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