If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize