Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
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I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
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My penis needs a shock collar
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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