i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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