I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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