Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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