i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize