dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
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