he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Use "feeling words"
Yay
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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