I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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