i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
i've created a new STD.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize