My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
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I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
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Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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