when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
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We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
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The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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