...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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