...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
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