Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize