I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize