Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
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I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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