How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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